I have been blessed with many things. I am four inches shorter than the average height for women, so to most people I appear to be younger than my 31 years.
It is easy for me to gain muscle.
While it takes most people years to develop muscle-tone, I can achieve the same results within a few months.
I am naturally inclined toward introversion,so I don’t need the validation of a crowd to enjoy myself.
Another bonus; I can easily block out any distractions because I am most comfortable processing information internally.
Before you think this is a post in which I list all of my positive attributes, here are a few negatives; I’m moody.
I can go for long periods without speaking, and if someone tries to engage me in conversation, I usually respond with one-word answers until they go away.
If that doesn’t work, I ignore them completely.
I am selfish with how I spend my time and money.
I am blunt and offer unsolicited constructive criticism whenever I see areas of inefficiency.
Also, I can’t lie.
That isn’t due to lack of trying; I used to lie often as a kid, either to prevent myself from getting into trouble, or to make myself appear to be more mature, interesting, or experienced than I actually was.
In grade 10, I lied and told a friend that I had just quit smoking.
I had chronic asthma at the time, so smoking was not even an option for me, yet I told my friend and a group of older girls that I had. I was caught when I didn’t know that smokers actually inhaled the smoke–I’d always thought that they swallowed it.
Anyway, my further efforts proved to be equally as fruitless.
I always ended up being caught–especially by my mother, a.k.a. “The-Human-Lie-Detector”.
As much as I try to deceive her, she eventually figures out the truth.
Every single time.
I came to this conclusion just recently.
A few months ago, a coworker who worked in my department was transferred to another area of the store. Last week, she had to pick up something in my department. After greeting everyone, she said “Aw! I miss you guys!” I was about to say “I miss you too”, but I stopped short.
It was as though my mouth was refusing to form the words. In all honesty, I couldn’t say that I missed her because I really didn’t.
(First of all, she was a critical, gossipy busybody with a bad attitude, and being around that energy all the time was draining, to say the least.)
I know that she’s a nice person, but I was glad I didn’t have to see her all the time.
Rather than placating her with insincere flattery, I said something like, “Oh, that’s really nice!” because that is what I truly believed.
It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to hide what is in my heart. I have been on the receiving end of insincere flattery, and frankly, I don’t like it.
When I prayed on New Year’s Day, one of the things I asked for was authenticity. In light of everything else that has happened in my life this seems like an unusual request, but in order for me to do what I was born to do, I need to be genuine.
People shouldn’t have to guess whether or not I mean what I’m saying to them; they should know.
The time for telling people what they want to hear so you can get what you want is over.
The way this world is going, we need as many truth tellers as we can find.
I don’t mean that we need a bunch of undisciplined losers who will say whatever they want without any regard for other people’s feelings.
We just need enough people who are willing to be transparent.
When you speak to me, I want it to be apparent that I am not trying to manipulate you because I’m not.
I don’t want to flatter you into giving me my way, and I definitely don’t want to cultivate a superficial relationship in order to gain any advantages.
All I want, all I really want, is to have enough integrity to be honest with you, and enough mercy to be tactful about it.
Let’s be honest, I know for a fact that I won’t be able to lie to you successfully.