• I have twice accidentally stabbed myself. The first time I was popping plastic packing bubbles with my utility knife and stabbed my own finger. The second time I stabbed myself in the eye with a cardboard box.
  • I am horrible at mental math. If you give me a piece of paper to work out the equations, I’m pretty good.  However, when I’m forced to rely on my memory I am bad. My brain does not speak ‘math’.
  • If I’m not interested in a topic, I don’t pay much attention to it. If I don’t pay attention to it, I won’t learn about it.
  • Occasionally I forget my nouns. In the past couple of years, I have forgotten the following words: broom, pricing gun, chainsaw, and hovercraft. I wish I were making this up. (To be fair, once a person reaches 30, he/she starts to forget nouns anyway, but it’s still annoying.)
  • I still have to look up words in the dictionary. Last year when I was reading The Brothers Karamazov, I had to look up the word ‘vouchsafed’ because I had never seen it before. (For the record, has three meanings: to give a person something in either a gracious or condescending manner, or to reveal something.)
  • I have a horrible memory when it comes to movie dialogue. Not that the ability to recall movie dialogue is an important life skill, but it is one of the few instances in which my memory fails me completely.
  • I am not good at picking up hints. I don’t read subtle hints. I don’t read overt hints. If a person is not direct, I will not pay attention to what he or she is covertly trying to say. (Either be open or be quiet. Even if, what you’re hinting at is painfully obvious to you, I won’t get it.)
  • I think reality television is entertaining.  Reality television is entertaining if you watch it properly. I watch because it is interesting to see how different people relate to each other in a variety of settings. It is also interesting to see how delusion plays a big role in how reality starts behave when they know they are being watched. Also, the way a person is perceived on a show is largely dependent upon how he or she is edited. When others control the narrative, how am I supposed to know what is real and what is not? (Answer: by watching a lot of reality TV. Every show follows the same guide book.)
  • A good portion of my spare change is spent buying high end make up. There are 6 major companies who are responsible for most of the make up we buy, with a few notable (and pricey) exceptions. I know that the drugstore stuff is just as good, but the high end stuff has nicer packaging, better fragrances, and a wider variety of colours. It’s not smart, but I like it.
  • I don’t know everything. This one bears repeating. I don’t know everything. There is far too much to know for me even  to scale the surface of knowing everything. I’m just going to continue to learn all I can while being satisfied with what I already know. I will never know it all, but I’d sooner be content with knowing ‘some’.
  • Also, I once failed a driver’s licence exam because I second-guessed myself and changed the 4 (correct) answers that would have helped me pass into the wrong ones. (On the sign portion I got one wrong. One.)

While it’s cute to be a know-it all, it’s a lot easier to be the one who admits to being ignorant. It takes the pressure off.

Live well, everyone 🙂



2 thoughts on “11 Reasons I’m Not As Smart As I Think I Am

  1. Ha, I should write a post like this! The mental math thing eludes me, and I too have stabbed myself – once so badly I thought about getting stitches, but I just taped my fingers together and it turned out okay… 😉

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