Defeatism is So Middle-Class:2013 in Review

I hear that, Countess Violet.

The year 2013 was an important one for me. In 2013, I had to (grudgingly) admit I did not have all the answers. I had to face the fact that the world was not my personal oyster, and it did not revolve around me. I had to acknowledge that my agenda was secondary, and I had to watch as my circumstances breached my comfort zone, and then obliterated it.

I will attend my first class in 5 days. The obliterating of my comfort zone started when I left a job that I had since I was 18. I was good at my job. I was comfortable there because I knew what I had to do every day.

That is why I had to leave it behind.

When I was 26, I a pastor told me that, in order to fulfill the plans God had for my life, I would have to leave my parents, and rely solely on God for my provision. I put it off for 6 years. As always, the more I put things off, the more I saw signs pointing me away from my childhood home, and into my future.

2013 is the year I did something about it. I applied for university for the first time in nearly 15 years. I was sure I would be accepted, (NOT, but I talked myself into believing it until it came true.), and I slowly made preparations for my moving on from retail.

The field I will eventually go into is not one I would have chosen for myself. I am an introvert, so by nature I avoid attention. (I always choose a seat near the back, by the aisle, so no one notices me.) However, two aspects of my calling have been a perfect fit from the start: I love to teach, and I love to encourage people who feel afraid, and insecure.

My mother says that, a person knows when something is a calling when she can do it without any recognition. When I graduate, I will have a title, but as a Christian, the most significant identifier for me will always be as a “follower of Christ”. I am in no way qualified for what I am going to do.

I’m not a “good Christian”. I do not always remember which bible verses are where, and there are still many parts of the Bible that I have not read. That said, I know this is the right thing to do. I know this because I have no anxiety about it in spite of the fact that I am in unfamiliar territory.

Last year, I went through what most people describe as setbacks, some as recent as last week. It might sound cliche, but setbacks are sometimes set-ups in disguise. I can attest to this. I do not know what this year will bring me, but I am looking forward to finding out.

In the past 12 months, I went from a retail worker to a university student. I went from steady pay, to student loans, and bursaries, and I went from certainty and complacency, to uncertainty, and faith.

I would not want it any other way.

I wish you all the best in 2014!

Peace,

Erie

 

 

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