Has it been two years?
Wow…time flies. When I started this blog, I didn’t have a set theme. It was just another place for me to “contemplate my navel” with impunity. (As I said from the start, why I chose to do this online instead of a personal journal is anyone’s guess.)
It was an outlet for me to express myself, and I enjoyed it. I still enjoy it. The only difference is, I am 100x more self-conscious about what I write because I know that someone, somewhere is going to see it.
I’m thankful because I had this blog to chart my progress and give me the space to practice the skills I didn’t even know I’d need. (You need a 15000 word essay? No problem. I’ve got blog posts that long.)
For my first foray into blogging, I focused more on beauty and cosmetics. (Not linking to it because it’s horrendous.) Since I was a hobby blogger, it was just a fun thing to pass the time. For others, it was a job. I was only in it for a few years, but I saw a lot of ugliness, both within the blogging community and from the readers.
I was never on the receiving end of the negativity, but I saw many of the people I started with abandon their blogs because of feuds with other bloggers, harassment from readers (Seriously. They asked people for free makeup, and everything), and the stress of having to keep up with, and write about, the hundreds of collections released every year.
It wasn’t my scene.
In the six years since my first blog, and the two years since I started this one, much has changed in my life. I’ve completed my first semester of university, with a 3.78 G.P.A. (That’s 94.5%; y’all. NINETY-FOUR POINT FIVE). I’m no longer the beauty-junkie who just *has* to have makeup from every new collection, (working with a student’s budget will teach one how to prioritize immediately.)
I am a bit easier on myself now. I felt like a moron the entire time I was in school. However, once presented with empirical evidence to the contrary, I had to admit that, while I don’t know everything I need to, I do know enough to get excellent grades and occasionally relay what I’ve learned to others.
My motto for the semester was not, “make it perfect”, but “Get it done.” When I had setbacks, or felt out of my depth and alone, there was always a heaven-sent soul to encourage me, through either word or deed. I had to take a giant leap of faith to go back to school, and even though it was terrifying and often uncomfortable, I felt–and still feel–a sense of peace about my decision.
I took a break from blogging after school ended because I couldn’t put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) without picking apart my writing for not being academic enough. Since I’ve set a goal to publish something every single day in July, (and I’ve documented it here) I’ll be posting more regularly. If only just to sharpen my skills before September rolls around.
To everyone who has been reading this blog, either since the beginning or later on: Thank You. I don’t know what led you to my small corner of the internet, but I’m grateful for your presence.