Just a reminder to everyone who reads this blog that I’m still around and will begin updating this blog regularly again.
Just a reminder to everyone who reads this blog that I’m still around and will begin updating this blog regularly again.
Every time I get new followers, I feel the need to reintroduce myself as if writing my personal, private thoughts in blog posts isn’t enough. That’s what this post is, only it will be in list form rather than paragraphs. The reason? If I use paragraphs, this post will be 10000 words long. (I take the advice, “Write what you know” literally.) In that spirit, here are 16 things about me.
Bonus. “I use Grammarly to check for plagiarism because, while imitation is flattery, flagrant copying is obnoxious.”
I haven’t written a post in a while. No, scratch that. I have written many posts. I just don’t like any of them enough to click “publish”. I will most likely re-read them in a month and decide that they are all amazing. (Not likely, but I’m hopeful) Until then, I am going to write about myself because it’s easy for me to do so.
1. I “borrowed” the title of this post from an unknown writer who is more clever than I am. It has nothing to do with what I’m writing about, but I thought it sounded cool.
2. I like puns.
3. Satire is my favourite type of humour because I like to use sarcasm and ridicule to draw attention to things that are not necessarily funny.
4. It is easy for me to be kind to people that I do not like because I have a genuine interest in people, as well as an eagerness to connect with them, regardless of how repugnant they may seem. (I don’t need a hidden agenda to treat people with kindness, thanks to my lovely parents) On the flip side, it is also easy for me to ignore a person I don’t like. If I am kind to someone, it is real. If I am not kind to someone, it is also real.
5. I am a born optimist. (My blood type is B positive.)
6. People told me that I “sounded white” for most of my life, and I still don’t know what that means. For the record, my parents both went to college. My Grampy did not finish elementary school, but he was an eloquent speaker. I sound like the people who taught me how to speak, none of whom are white.
7. I was initially reluctant to teach Sunday school, but now talking to my class about God is one of my favourite things to do.
8. I am more productive when I’m angry than I am when I am calm. When I am angry, I just throw myself into my work to keep myself from thinking about what upset me. When I’m calm, I slow down.
9. When I get writer’s block, I usually write through it…and then hate everything I write.
10. I am only on Facebook to connect with friends and family who live far away, and the majority of the people on my ‘Friends’ list are relatives.
11. I did not like children until my eldest nephew was born.
12. I love being an introvert because whatever is going on in my head is always amusing.
I may delete this soon.
This isn’t going to be one of those posts in which I confess a crippling fear of clowns, spiders, or heights. (I’m not scared of the former, and I cured my fear of the latter in 2010) I do not have a weakness for chocolate, cupcakes, or pastries. (I like salt.) I’m not rankled by physical contact, or intimidated by crowds. (I do hate parties, however.) I am an introvert, who likes alone time, but I also love to spend time with people. I don’t react to external stimuli, and when I’m focused on something, I can block out everything else. Most, if not all of my weaknesses have to do with how I relate to my environment and the people around me. So, here they are. All 7 of them. (I’m positive there are more, but this is enough for today.)
1. Deeming things (and people) unimportant because they are not important to me.
2. Being rude and dismissive towards people I don’t respect.
3. Becoming confrontational when I sense that a person is trying to intimidate me.
4. Ignoring people that I do not want to talk to.
5. Making snide remarks at other people’s expense. To their faces.
6.Judging other people for their life/wardrobe/book/entertainment/word choices.
…And 3 weaknesses that are actually strengths:
8. Forgiving people after they have treated me wrongly.
9. Being kind to people without having ulterior motives.
10. Not giving a single care what people think about me.
The first 7 things on this list are what keep me humble. I cannot, in good conscience, believe that I am an infallible and wonderful person when I mean-mugged that girl I don’t like, talked mess about that other person, and told that other person that her words don’t carry any weight with me.
Acknowledging one’s flaws is the first step in conquering them. I can be confident in the fact that, as long as I’m alive, I can be better than I was the day before. Just when I think I’ve made it, I’ll mess up, and be reminded that I am not perfect. I am human, and I will make mistakes.
What is the best part about this? It is okay to make mistakes. Smart people learn by them. The rest? Well, they keep making the same mistakes, over and over again, and then wonder why nothing ever works out in their lives.
I may have many flaws, but they keep me grounded. Smugness is for people who are looking to be knocked off of their high-horses by the law of reciprocity. (Or in biblical terms, you reap what you sow) I’m a Christian, so I don’t believe in karma, but I do believe that a person only receives what he or she has already given.
As people, we are not defined by our flaws or mistakes. We are defined by our spirit and our character. I admit my flaws because I know they represent only a fraction of the person I am. And you are free to do the same.
Share this! 😛
If you have been following this blog for any length of time, you will find that I talk/write about myself. A lot. So in the spirit of over-sharing, here are more random off-the cuff facts about me.
That’s all I could think of for now.
In spite of my hatred of the phrase,”navel-gazing”, I am going to use it because it is the only word that accurately describes what I’m doing here. As much as I’d like to think of myself as an “up with people” philanthropist, the truth is that I am quite self-absorbed of late. I didn’t start out this way. When I was a kid, I used to pretend not to know the answers to questions because I didn’t want the other kids to feel bad that they didn’t know. If I expressed an opinion that was unpopular, I changed it because I didn’t want my friends to be angry with me. I took sides in disputes, when in truth, I wasn’t invested either way. I said things I didn’t mean because I wanted to fit in. I kept my feelings to myself because I didn’t to be a burden to anyone, and I gossiped about people I didn’t know because everyone else was doing it.
When I turned 28, a shift happened. All at once, I went from a people-pleasing sycophant, to a God-pleasing loner. (With a small group of trusted friends.) During that time, I experienced a lot of personal turmoil. It was as though everything was stacked against both me, and everyone I was related to. The 4 years that followed were a mixture of sublime, ridiculous, and sad. I am grateful that I had the support of my family and friends through all of it. I found out how short life really was in those years, so I made up my mind to stop living for others, and start living the life God intended me to live.
The first thing I did was reconnect to my faith. I was raised in a Christian home (with two activist parents), but during my teens and early twenties I renounced my faith and adopted the beliefs of any creed that would allow me to do whatever I wanted. However, I am not the type of person who can live without believing in someone. A few years ago, I read The God of Small Things, by Arundhati Roy. In it, she writes about te human need to fill the ‘God-shaped hole’ in their lives. That is, in the absence of God, people will inevitably find something or someone else to worship. I spent a lot of time worshipping my own misery. My prayers were complaints and criticism, and I had a small choir of equally miserable people to encourage my negativity. (I also had dysthymia, which did not help matters. At all.) After years of suffering in silence, I decided that I was not invincible, infallible, or untouchable and that I needed help. When I abandoned my pride and admitted my weakness, I was able to get the help that I needed, and start living my life.
The first casualty in my war against inefficiency was my need to please everyone. I’m not the type to try to make another person miserable on purpose, but, if a person is not happy with me as I am, it is not my job to make them happy with me. How people feel about me, is their business, not mine. Seeking comfort is normal, but growth always comes with discomfort, rather, my acceptance of times of challenge and inconvenience as a part of life instead of avoiding them because I feel I am entitled to something better. Learning how to like the person I am in spite of what other people think was not always comfortable. But once I realized that I didn’t need the approval of the crowd in order to live a good life, I didn’t want their approval anymore.
So now, I am all about me–with a twist. I am all about the plans God has for my life. I am all about being myself. I am all about nurturing my own gifts and talents instead of coveting the gifts and talents of other people. I am all about being comfortable in my own skin because, let’s face it–this is the only skin I have so I may as well accept it. Not everyone will like me for this. Not everyone should like me for this. I was not born to be validated by the crowd. Per my contrary nature, my being validated by the masses means that I’m doing something wrong. (My M.O.: If everyone is going left, go right because it’s less crowded.)
If history has taught me anything, it is that the pervading popular opinion is often incorrect. I made the decision not to allow what is commonly believed to sway my views. I read a quote that explained how we all see the people in our lives as extras, and we’re the stars, but we fail to recognize that they are the stars of their own story. All this navel-gazing, self-awareness, and unabashed confidence are just a byproduct of my realizing that, while I may be a mere extra in another person’s life, in my own life I am the key player. When I accepted myself as the key player in my life, I was able to live with the fact that everyone is a key player.
My confidence is not derived from the knowledge that I am somehow superior to anyone else. (I think you’ll find that any person who clings to the belief that he or she is superior is deeply insecure. Arrogance is just a cover.) I can be confident because I don’t need anyone to tell me who I am. I already know. I can confidently admit that I do not know it all. I make a lot of mistakes. I am often rude, self-absorbed, and standoffish. I am intolerant of people who waste my time. I cannot abide gossips. Once a person betrays my trust, it will take years before I trust them again–that is–if I ever do. I cannot stand anyone who uses manipulation as a means to control other people, and I am relentlessly stubborn when I believe I am right.
I may be a navel-gazer, but hey, at least I’ve learned something from it.
While it’s cute to be a know-it all, it’s a lot easier to be the one who admits to being ignorant. It takes the pressure off.
Live well, everyone 🙂
That’s all I could think of for now. (And really, I think that’s enough :wink:)
Have a great evening!
Today marks the 13 year anniversary of my hire date. That is not too shabby for someone who cried after her first group interview because she thought she would not get the job. I have made it long past my 3 month seasonal contract, and it’s been a great experience overall.
In my typically Nerdy way, I have compiled a list of stats. Some of them are exact. Others are approximates because, really, it’s been 13 years, and I’m getting older.
Customers and Other Stuff
Final thoughts: I have nothing but gratitude for my experiences at work. It hasn’t been all sunshine and lollipops, but had it not been for the struggles of my former years, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I have learned more in the 13 years on the job than I ever would have as an 18 year old student. Being forced outside of my comfort zone has helped me in invaluable ways. I don’t have a single regret because even the most challenging aspects of the job bolstered my growth.
Thank you, all for taking a chance on a shy kid from the country.
My first award since being on WordPress! This is exciting 🙂 I was nominated by tfaswift from Swift Expressions, and I am both honoured and humbled by my inclusion.
The rules are as follows:
1. Thank the blogger who nominated you: That’s an easy one. Thank you tfaswift! Hugs 😀
2.Attach the award to my site. I couldn’t figure out how to do that, so I’m including it in this post instead 🙂
3.Share seven random facts about yourself.
Here’s the difficult part; I now have to choose 15 bloggers to award this to. I haven’t been on WordPress long, so I don’t really know a lot of people. I think I’m going to take the easy way out and nominate anyone who follows me and the blogger who nominated me. (Bonus fact: This post has been sitting in my Drafts folder for three days because I couldn’t think of anyone to tag :P)