Talking About God Tuesday:Love

I don’t have  a lot to say today, (I know, shocking) so I’m just going to share another favourite bible passage because it is the one that I need to remind myself of the most.

 

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Blessings,

Erie

12 Reasons Why My Mom Is Awesome

1. She’s kind and caring, but still manages to be tough as nails.
2. She is protective without being smothering.
3. She is brave.
4. She is forgiving.
5. She has many amazing talents and is humble about them
6. She is wise and gives great advice.
7. She is really funny.
8. She loves without conditions.
9. She leads by example, not domination.
10. She is encouraging.
11. She doesn’t think twice about rushing to help other people.
12. She is a strong woman of faith.

I could go on for ever, but really, how much more evidence does one need?

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom ♥

Erie

Sharing Saturday: And Jesus Spoke With A British Accent

A few weeks ago, I dreamt that I was putting merchandise away in the children’s department of my workplace. I have worked at my current place of employment for 13+ years. I haven’t worked in the children’s department since 2006. Yet for some reason, my subconscious decided to place me there, putting away books and toys. As soon as I got to work, my supervisor told me that, since there weren’t any shipments to process, I would be putting merchandise away in the children’s department. Score one for dreamland. I don’t always remember my dreams, but here are more examples of some odd ones.

I had a dream that Gerard Butler gave me $25,000 dollars. I don’t remember why, but I do recall that it was one of those, “Hey you, Here’s some money” type of deals. When I woke up without $25,000 dollars I was very disappointed. (Also? Random.)

In one of my dreams, I was a passenger in a taxi that, I later found out, was driven by Jesus. (Jesus take the wheel!) Since we were in London, Jesus had a British accent. Not a posh British accent, like the Queen, but rather, a Coronation Street British accent. (A.K.A. The cool kind) In the dream, British Jesus told me that as long as I stuck with him, I’d have everything I need. It was oddly comforting.

In my most recent odd dream, I was in a van with Ben Affleck. (Pause for effect.) We were drinking coffee and eating doughnuts, sort of like partners in a buddy-cop movie. (The vibe was distinctly platonic. Even my subconscious honours the fact that Ben Affleck is both married and not my type.) All of the sudden, a deranged psychopath, jumped out of nowhere, and started screaming that he was going to kill us. Since I was in the driver’s seat, I rolled down the window and said, nonchalantly, “Really? You need to go somewhere else. I don’t have time for your foolishness.” Ben mentioned something about having to go home to his wife and kids, and we were both treating a potential killer as though he were a minor inconvenience instead of a threat. I even taunted him as I put the window back up. (In real life I’d be less likely to say, “I’m putting the window up, you can’t get me!” and sticking my tongue out. That’s rude.)  I wasn’t scared at all. Probably because I knew I was under the protection of British Jesus.

Then there was the time my dream alter-ego smashed a person in the face and told her off for stealing my bench. In my defense, I paid for the bench, so it was technically my bench. The lady was a jerk for trying to steal it to begin with. Also, she cursed at me. Not cool.

In another dream, I stood up to one of my childhood bullies. (The message: Petty mean-girl intimidation tactics are not effective when dealing with a 32 year-old woman who, a) knows her worth, and b) isn’t above throwing a right hook.)

When I was 11 or 12, I used to have nightmares all the time. (They always involved demons, and those demons were always trying to kill me)  It got to the point where, not only was I sleeping on a cot in the parlour of my parent’s bedroom, I was also afraid of going to sleep. (Hello, Insomnia.)

Eventually, I stopped having the nightmares and returned to my own room. (Erie=1. Nightmare demons=0) Thank God for that because I really like to sleep.

I have a friend who is interested in dream interpretation. (She’s the same friend who is attending Bible College, in the U.S.) She told me that most dreams are meant to be discarded, but there are some that relevant to where a person is in their life. In the Bible, God often spoke to people through dreams. (These types of dreams got Joseph and his snazzy coat in big trouble with his brothers and saved Daniel’s life.) I guess, based on my dreams, God is telling me that I’m going to be given a lot of money. I am going to the UK again. I’m indifferent towards psychopaths and bullies. Jesus is always in the driver’s seat. I’m possessive over what is mine, and I can occasionally tell what is going to happen in the future.

Sounds legit.

Peace,

Erie

11 Reasons I’m Not As Smart As I Think I Am

• I have twice accidentally stabbed myself. The first time I was popping plastic packing bubbles with my utility knife and stabbed my own finger. The second time I stabbed myself in the eye with a cardboard box.
• I am horrible at mental math. If you give me a piece of paper to work out the equations, I’m pretty good.  However, when I’m forced to rely on my memory I am bad. My brain does not speak ‘math’.
• If I’m not interested in a topic, I don’t pay much attention to it. If I don’t pay attention to it, I won’t learn about it.
• Occasionally I forget my nouns. In the past couple of years, I have forgotten the following words: broom, pricing gun, chainsaw, and hovercraft. I wish I were making this up. (To be fair, once a person reaches 30, he/she starts to forget nouns anyway, but it’s still annoying.)
• I still have to look up words in the dictionary. Last year when I was reading The Brothers Karamazov, I had to look up the word ‘vouchsafed’ because I had never seen it before. (For the record, has three meanings: to give a person something in either a gracious or condescending manner, or to reveal something.)
• I have a horrible memory when it comes to movie dialogue. Not that the ability to recall movie dialogue is an important life skill, but it is one of the few instances in which my memory fails me completely.
• I am not good at picking up hints. I don’t read subtle hints. I don’t read overt hints. If a person is not direct, I will not pay attention to what he or she is covertly trying to say. (Either be open or be quiet. Even if, what you’re hinting at is painfully obvious to you, I won’t get it.)
• I think reality television is entertaining.  Reality television is entertaining if you watch it properly. I watch because it is interesting to see how different people relate to each other in a variety of settings. It is also interesting to see how delusion plays a big role in how reality starts behave when they know they are being watched. Also, the way a person is perceived on a show is largely dependent upon how he or she is edited. When others control the narrative, how am I supposed to know what is real and what is not? (Answer: by watching a lot of reality TV. Every show follows the same guide book.)
• A good portion of my spare change is spent buying high end make up. There are 6 major companies who are responsible for most of the make up we buy, with a few notable (and pricey) exceptions. I know that the drugstore stuff is just as good, but the high end stuff has nicer packaging, better fragrances, and a wider variety of colours. It’s not smart, but I like it.
• I don’t know everything. This one bears repeating. I don’t know everything. There is far too much to know for me even  to scale the surface of knowing everything. I’m just going to continue to learn all I can while being satisfied with what I already know. I will never know it all, but I’d sooner be content with knowing ‘some’.

• Also, I once failed a driver’s licence exam because I second-guessed myself and changed the 4 (correct) answers that would have helped me pass into the wrong ones. (On the sign portion I got one wrong. One.)

While it’s cute to be a know-it all, it’s a lot easier to be the one who admits to being ignorant. It takes the pressure off.

Live well, everyone

Erie

Off The Cuff Thursday: Destroy The Image, Break The Enemy

This week, I have been thinking a lot about self-preservation versus vulnerability.

It is human nature to protect everything that makes us feel comfortable, secure, and powerful. The bad thing about self-preservation is that it does not care how it holds on to comfort and security. In the interest of protecting ones’ own interests, self-preservation ignores the interests of others. It does not care what it has to destroy in the process. If self-preservation takes the lead, it will always set itself above the rest. Self-preservation is a display of strength that is devoid of any actual power.

I discovered that the real power is in vulnerability. Vulnerability is a threat to self-preservation because it is proof that a person does not have to appear strong in order to be tough. Vulnerability enables a person to take the biggest risks. There cannot be love where there is no vulnerability. There is no acceptance where there is no vulnerability. There can be no compassion where there is no vulnerability. There can be no success without vulnerability. There can be no genuine kindness where there is no vulnerability.

Self-preservation robs a person of his or her true self because it is reliant on a carefully constructed image. Vulnerability restores because it is reliant on the qualities that the person already has. Self-preservation is sometimes a false friend because it prevents a person from discerning whether threats are real or imaginary. It is continually fighting for survival, in spite of the fact that it is not in danger of destruction.

Vulnerability represents the deconstruction of the graven image that is self-preservation. It is treating people with respect, whether they deserve it or not. It is showing up and doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do. It is working to do your best in all that you do, so at the end of the day, you can say you have done everything in your power to succeed. It is making a mistake and admitting it without making excuses.

Self-preservation is the image. Vulnerability is the real thing.

One of my favourite movies is Enter the Dragon. My favourite scene (and inspiration and namesake for this post) is when Lee fights Han in the museum of mirrors. At first, this disorients Lee. The mirrors make it difficult to see where Han is, so it looks as though Han has the upper hand. (Or claw. If you’ve seen the movie, you know what I mean.) Lee remembers the voice of his sensei, Shaolin Abbot: “Remember:the enemy has only images and illusions behind which he hides his true motives. Destroy the image, and you will break the enemy.” Lee then breaks all of the mirrors and uses Han’s own spear to defeat him.

Humans are born with a survival instinct because we need one. However, sometimes our need to protect our own interests ends up harming instead of helping. It takes wisdom–that I am currently, not in possession of, but hope to acquire–to know when to protect and when to pull all the walls down and be accessible.

Self-preservation prevents us from ingesting poisonous foods and from running into situations that might potentially endanger us. Self preservation also prevents us from seeking things that may benefit us because we are too concerned with the risks involved. It causes us to work against the people we are supposed to be helping, and push the people who are supposed to help us away. It causes us to hide our faults because we don’t want anyone else to know that we’re not perfect. It causes us to blame others for mistakes that we have made.

“Self preservation isn’t worth it if you can’t live with the self you’re preserving.” David Levithan, Everyday

I write this because I am in the middle of destroying some long-held illusions about myself. In the past couple of years, I have discovered that the qualities I previously thought to be weaknesses; kindness, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, acceptance, and tolerance, are actually strengths. They don’t look like strengths, but I have decided that I’d rather appear weak and have a lot of strength, than appear strong and have little.

In the bible, the apostle Paul wrote that God’s strength is made perfect in weakness. (It all comes back to the Bible with me, folks. Get used to it.)  In my life, would not have gained the strength I needed without first admitting that I was not strong. When I made the admission, I had to go through situations specifically set up to strengthen me. It was a strict regimen–only the training was for my mental and emotional fitness rather than physical. (Though, my physical strength, is nothing to scoff at either)

I am who I am, not because I can intimidate people with my loud voice, (nope!) my size, (definitely not), or how I speak (I’m silent around 50% if the time). I’m not any smarter than anyone else. I’m not wiser, or bigger or badder. I am who I am because I know my weaknesses. I allow myself the grace to make mistakes without feeling shame about them. I know what I’m good at. I know what motivates me, and I know how I cope with stress. (By Working out, and then naps.) I can endure tough times and not allow them to defeat me. Most importantly, I have faith in someone and something greater than me. If I choose self-preservation, it means that I don’t trust God.

In the interest if self-preservation, I won’t eat anything that doesn’t look or smell right, and I won’t rush toward danger (unless, of course, someone needs my help). If a person has already betrayed me three times, I’d be hesitant to trust them so they can betray me once more, (Hey there, Delilah) But, me being dishonest so I can conform to the image others have of me has been over for a long time.

I am at my best when I am vulnerable because that is when my actions most closely resemble those of Jesus. Even if my vulnerability costs me, I don’t want to change.

Destroying the image breaks the enemy.

Peace,

Erie

Related articles

• Vulnerability and Shame- Brene Brown (sunshinedreamsandmamathings.wordpress.com)
• What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable (thoughtcatalog.com)
• Strength and vulnerability (littlegreybox.net)
• The Paradox of Vulnerability (selfdiscoverydigest.com)

Sharing Sunday:10 Reasons Why I’m Not Qualified To Judge Anyone

In no particular order:

I am not a judge.

No matter how great I look in a black robe and wig, I am not a judge. If I want to judge others with impunity, I will need to spend a minimum of 7 years in a proper law school, and gain experience presiding over trials. Since I have not done that, I can’t judge.

I am not perfect.

I am full of flaws. I have a lot of good qualities, but my flaws and lack of experience disqualify me from correctly judging another person.

I watch questionable TV shows.

Think about it: would you, in good conscience, trust anyone who watches The Real Housewives of Wherever, to make an accurate judgment regarding your choices? I didn’t think so.

I’m biased.

I have a unique view of the world that is based upon my upbringing, my experiences, my beliefs, and many other factors. How I view the world shapes my opinions, and I cannot always be trusted to be objective.

I don’t have the right to judge anyone.

The ability to judge another person is not a right. Judging another person is a privilege and is granted to a person who has been authorized, by a governing body to do so. That ain’t me.

Because. Who asked for my opinion, anyway?

My opinions are important to me. My right to have opinions is important to me. I am thankful to be allowed to express my opinions. However, if I’m honest, I have to admit that not a single person asked me for them. The fact that I have opinions does not give me the right to express them (particularly in regard to other people) without considering what the consequences may be.

No, seriously. Who asked me?

The assertion that an opinion cannot be wrong is false. An opinion is wrong when it is clouded by ulterior motives. An opinion is wrong when its foundation is built on erroneous information. An opinion is wrong when it exposes a clear bias. An opinion is wrong when it is based more on my personal feelings than it is on the facts. All of these may or may not be at play when I express an opinion, so I should keep some of them to myself.

I don’t know everything.

Sometimes my judgments are based on hearsay, misinformation, and ignorance. I can’t make a completely informed judgment without knowledge of all of the facts. I will not pay attention to the facts if I am standing in judgment of someone. If I don’t know it all, I can’t judge it all.

I am not God.

Obviously. I should have started with this one.

Bonus reason: I am a Christian, and while we do judgmental better than anyone else, I’d rather live a judgment-free life, than risk drawing the ire of God.

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.”  (Luke 6:37 NLT)

Peace,

Erin

Wordless Wednesday: The Feel Better Playlist

I haven’t blogged  this week because I’ve been sick for the past few days. However, these songs are always comforting to hear. (Plus my mother has placed me on a fruit/vegetable heavy diet because she insists that I’d get sick less frequently if I ate fewer carbs. Who am I to argue with the woman who has a medical degree?) Anyway, I pray that I’m back to my old self tomorrow because this ‘staying home in bed’ stuff is for weaklings.

Have a great Wednesday!

Erie

Sharing Saturday: How To Be Confident (Part 2)

• Don’t compare yourself to anyone else.This is a hard habit to break, but once it is broken, it ends up benefiting you in the end. No one person is perfect. We all have issues we’re dealing with. Some are worse than others. They may look great on the outside, but you have no idea what that person had to go through to get where they are. I’ve heard it this way: “Don’t be jealous of anyone. I guarantee you, if everyone walked into a room, and dumped their problems onto the floor, when they saw what everyone else’s problems were, they’d be scrambling to get their own problems back before someone else got to them first.” (Karen Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup) You may have issues, but they are your issues. Even though my issues annoyed me, tripped me up, and made me sick, I thank God for every difficult situation I’ve had to live through because all of them have taught me something. No one is better than you, and no one is worse than you either. We’re all on an equal footing–in spite of what you may have heard.

 

• Help someone else.Treating people with kindness and generosity are two of the easiest and most mutually beneficial ways to gain confidence. Whether you contribute your time, a hot meal, money, or a word of encouragement, being a good person will make you feel good about yourself, as well as other people.

 

• Embrace your faults. You are not perfect. You never have been perfect, and you never will be perfect. Your flaws are a part of the unique qualities that make you. I wouldn’t have developed into a confident woman if I didn’t make the decision be accountable for my bad behaviour. I am selfish with my time. I ignore people when I don’t want to deal with them. I am indifferent toward strangers, and I am standoffish with people I don’t like. I make snide remarks because I think they’re funny, and sarcasm is my second language. I give my unsolicited opinions without any regard for peoples’ feelings. I get snappish whenever I sense that someone is trying to intimidate me. I’m a know-it-all. I’m abrupt. I tell the truth, even when it’s mean and unnecessary. I ignore things that aren’t important to me. I am stubborn. That isn’t my entire list of faults, yet I can acknowledge them because I like the person I am in spite of all of my weaknesses. I know I will never be perfect, but as long as I’m alive, I can always keep trying to be better.

 

• Don’t look to anyone else for validation. I have to admit: I have benefited from the love and affirming words I received from my parents as a kid. However, I eventually had to learn how to get by without someone holding my hand and telling me what a special cupcake I am. Not everyone you meet is going to appreciate you. Some won’t appreciate you at all. If you’re too used to coddling and affirmation, criticism– even when it’s constructive, is seen as a personal attack. Not everyone you meet is out to get you. Then again, they’re not there to validate you either. Since I can’t say it any better, here’s a quote: “Expect nothing for your generosity. Not gratitude, not fanfare. Generosity is not for your comfort… it is to soothe the ache in others.” I don’t know who wrote this, but it is dead on.

 

• Recognize your strengths. Everyone is good at something. Each person on earth was born with a set of gifts and talents, and whether your talent is leading a team as the CEO of a company, or mopping the floors of a building, you are important. Too many people waste time trying to fit into professions that do not suit them. Once you find what your purpose is, you’ll be so busy trying to attain it that you won’t have time to dwell on weaknesses, either for you or the people around you.
• Take care of yourself.  The inner dialogue of an insecure person would go something like this: “I’m not good enough.” “I’m not smart enough.” “[He/She is better than me.” “I’m a fool.” “I hate my life.” and on and on. To insist that you’re a confident person when your thoughts of yourself are mostly negative is a lie. In order to be confident, you have to believe you are worth something. You won’t acknowledge your    own worth if you don’t take the time to take care of yourself. Whenever I hear one of my friends put themselves down, I say, “Hey! Don’t you talk about my friend like that!”  Be your own friend by respecting whom you are. As a sign of respect to you, take care of your whole self. You only get one body. You would do well not to wreck it.

This list may or may not have been sitting in my drafts folder for almost two months. The reason: halfway through, I decided that I was in no way qualified to tell anyone how to be confident. For me, the road to confidence was a long process that involved rejection, ridicule, and self-doubt. I didn’t have any confidence until it was made clear that my life isn’t about me. I am a Christian, so any certainty I have is because of my relationship with God. I guess, the thing that qualifies me is that, I used to be insecure, and now I’m not. (Thank the Lord)  It took me 20+ years to accept myself for who I am, and I have no choice but to keep going. (Flaws and all!)

You will have to find what gives you courage, whether it is in religion, your family, or something else, make sure your faith is in something that will last.

Peace,

Erie

 

Wordless Wednesday: 3 Encouraging Songs

 

 

1. Never Would’ve Made It-Marvin Sapp

(A lovely song about faith, with an old-time church feel)

2. Read All About It Pt. 3-Emeli Sande

(A song about not letting your voice be drowned out because of fear)

3. Keep Shining-Shad

(A song about being the brilliant person you are)

Enjoy!

Erie

8 Things About Growing Older That Cramped My Style

For the record, I am genuinely happy to be alive. Three years ago, I was in a car accident that should have killed me. The car looked like a crushed sardine can and was an instant write-off. The airbags didn’t deploy–at all–at the point of impact, yet I don’t have any lasting injuries to show for it.

(I believe in miracles, y’all.)

Coming so close to death gave me a new lease on life. (Ugh, cliche, but this one is legit. Hence, it’s status as a cliche.) Our time on this earth is short, so we may as well enjoy it when we can. That said, I am going to switch gears and tell you 8 things about growing older that truly cramped my style.

1. Maturity means I can’t allow my personal feelings to get in the way.

A couple of months ago, my boss asked me and my supervisor if we knew anyone who could fill a newly available management position. Before I could stop myself, I said, “It’s too bad [blank] already has a job. She was really great.” Here’s the rub: That person and I are not friends. We aren’t enemies, in order to be enemies we would have to say more than two words to one another, but we keep each other at a cold distance. (I call it our “Mutual Distaste Society”) Yet, when a position opened, she was the first one who came to mind because she was excellent at her job. I think that person was on my employer’s radar anyway, but she also received recommendations from everyone who has worked with her because she is a highly efficient worker. When she was hired, none of us was surprised.

Lesson: Putting your personal feelings aside for the benefit of the team displays your integrity and professionalism. Darn.

2. Maturity means accepting responsibility for your actions.

I am a pro at blaming other people for wrongdoing. I notice everything, so if someone makes a mistake, I’m all, “I saw that!” (In my head, of course. Saying that stuff out loud might earn me a punch in the face) I am also quite good at ignoring my own faults, in spite of the fact that I am aware of what they are. I have found that the same life lessons keep recurring until I get the idea. One of them is, the choices I make are my responsibility. My circumstances have an impact, but I am the one with the final say. If I choose wrongly, I can’t blame anyone other than me.

The lesson: You are responsible for your quality of life. Choose wisely.

3. There really is no such thing as a money tree.

I’m fortunate in the sense that I had parents who taught me the value of money. I was spoiled by care and attention, but not with a whole lot of material things, (even though I wanted to be spoiled with a lot of material things). I had a rude awakening when I entered university with a student line of credit and a shiny new credit card. (It’s like credit companies know, or something.)

I carried my card with the intention of buying books, and art supplies, which were expensive enough. And then I made the decision to walk to the mall on my breaks. Plus, a girl’s got to eat, so I bought lunch. Every day. With my credit card. I only went to school for a year, but I ended up with almost $10,000 worth of credit card debt. I couldn’t ask my parents for the money, (due to shame) so I had to pay it off with the money I earned working part-time at $5.75 per hour. It took me 7 years to pay it off, and by then I paid $3000 more than I owed because of interest.

The lesson: Control your impulse to buy stuff you don’t need, and spend your money responsibly. Also, credit cards are the currency of hell.

4. I need more sleep

When I was in high school, I could stay awake until 2 am and still wake up at 5 to get ready for school. Currently, I start to wind down at around 10, and if I don’t fall asleep before 11, it is a good day. I’m a mix of early bird/night owl, and I used to be able to stay up really late. It turns out I can’t do that anymore. If I’m not in bed by at least 12:30, I am a tired mess when I wake up. (I can’t sleep in past 9 am, so, on weekends I get up at 6 or 7 and watch the shows on my DVR) Sleep researchers say that adults need less sleep as they get older. I need more. As a result, I miss a lot of fun activities because I don’t want to be out past my bedtime. Just give me a cup of Ovaltine and call me Nana, already.

Lesson: Sleep is great.

5.I hate all the music

As a kid, I used to get annoyed when my parents said things like, “Oh the music nowadays is terrible! Our generation had all the good stuff.” I thought that it was disrespectful to all of the artists of my age that did remarkably well. Now that, there’s a new generation of kids growing up, I’m the person  saying, “Oh the music nowadays is terrible! My generation had all the good stuff.” I like some of the music, but the things I used to listen to: R&B and hip hop had its heyday in the 80s and 90s. Now it all sounds the same because the same four producers are doing the tracks, and the lyrics are mostly vulgar, banal, and offensive. I can’t even listen to a song with a great beat because the lyrics are stupid.

*Sigh*

I’m old.

The lesson: When you get older, new music sounds less like music and more like noise.

6. Vindication is no longer important.

I used to love holding grudges. If I felt as though a person betrayed me, I would not rest until I made them suffer in some way. My efforts were largely passive aggressive because I wanted them to know that I did not like what they did…without letting them know I didn’t like what they did. When I look back and think about all the time I wasted being angry while people were moving on with their life, I want to go back to the past and punch myself in the face. Realizing that I had nothing to prove to anyone was a start. I also figured out that the resentment was hurting me more than it hurt them. Being angry at someone who doesn’t give a care is not a good feeling. Now I choose not to get angry. After the 4 years I’ve had, I’m going to be happy whenever I can.

The lesson: Harbouring resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die.

7. I don’t know everything

I have acknowledged the fact that I am a (recovering) know-it-all. I am willing to compromise in most situations, that is, unless I believe I’m right. (Which is most of the time) When I know I’m right, I’m twice as stubborn. When in this state, it isn’t enough for me to make you see my point. I’m going to beat you over the head with it. (And possibly make you eat it) However, pride always comes before a fall, so there are times when I am humbled and proven wrong.

I learn more about life as I get older, which leads me to believe that I didn’t know that much to begin with. It is impossible for one person to be right about everything. For example, I’m not skilled at math. I am okay at science. My grammar and punctuation skills are fair to middling. Plus I am forever using the passive voice in my writing. On the other hand, I’m great with geography and can identify the capital cities of at least 40 countries off the top of my head. I am OK with admitting that, as much as I would like to,  I don’t know it all. I am not always right, and I do make mistakes. But my mistakes are what makes me human. Without flaws, I’d be a complete bobblehead.

The Lesson: I know what I know, but it is impossible for me to know everything. Fallibility is a part of being human.

8.Change is good

I’m inherently a creature of habit, so no one was more change averse than me. However, how a person handles the ebbs and flows in his or her life determines whether or not that person moves forward or stagnates. With each change, I have adapted. No matter what happens in my life, I am prepared because I don’t see evolving as my enemy.

The Lesson: Sometimes the complacency of staying the same is worse than the uncertainty of change.

As I write this, I am in no way implying that I have it all together. (I don’t.) I learned most of these lessons the old-fashioned way: trial and lots of errors. That doesn’t stop me from making the same errors again, but it does mean that I am less likely to fall into careless habits.

Side note: I also learned that brevity is the soul of wit.

Oops.

Peace,

Erie